Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
