i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
