so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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