I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
