oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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