yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
