cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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