My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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