carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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