Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
