i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
