I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
