Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He felt like a one man threesome
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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