I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
