idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
