a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
