my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
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