Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Please, let me fuck your mom
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
