they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
