My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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