I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
