I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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