I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
