Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
