only if we run a train.
done.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
worst night to have a conscience
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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