i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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