The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
