Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
