i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
