Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
