he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
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