Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
