Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
