she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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