Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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