She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Someone came in the potted fern
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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