Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
