i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
