Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
