Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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