I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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