Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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