I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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