I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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