Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
