ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
