yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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