is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
