I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
