East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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